SHOCK

When Michael first informed me that he had found someone else and wanted a divorce, I was in shock. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t feel. I was numb.

I had known things were not right between us but I had always thought we would work them out. After all, we loved each other. We were married. Things would get better tomorrow.

Suddenly, though, things were never going to get better. He was leaving and did not want to work on the marriage. He said he didn’t love me and never had. He said he didn’t want the children and never had. I was pregnant with our third child at the time and I felt betrayed and trapped. I remember sitting on the edge of the bathtub one night crying so hard I thought my body would shake apart. Everything was black and hopeless.

Michael wouldn’t go for counseling. He wouldn’t talk. All he wanted to do was spend time with her. I felt betrayed, abandoned, and worthless. My self-worth tumbled as far down as it could go and it wasn’t helped by "friends" telling me to get out of the way and let them be happy together.

I went to our pastor and he told me there was nothing that could be done. He said it was a sad situation but that I needed to accept the inevitable. Michael finally agreed to see a counselor because someone told him it would go better in divorce court if he had that on his record. After one session the counselor recommended we get a quick divorce and save time and money. He said we were too far gone for help. I went to a friend of ours whom I knew was serving the Lord mightily and he told me that God would honor the divorce because Michael had been in adultery. He said he didn’t know of anything that could be done to stop the break up of the marriage if Michael was unwilling to co-operate.

Finally I went to Jesus. Funny how we take so long to end up where we should have been in the first place.

Jesus met me in the midst of my pain and my tears. He comforted me and loved me and then began to take a very firm stand with me. He showed me plainly from His Word what His standard is regarding marriage. He cut through the emotions of the moment and taught me truth.

That is what this book is all about—TRUTH. If you want sympathy and tears, you will find them readily. People will cry with you and for you quite easily. If you want justification for unforgiveness, you will easily find that also. There are many others who have been hurt and will side with you in your bitterness. If you want the plain and simple truth, though, only the Word of God can give that to you. It may be hard to take at first, but Jesus has promised, "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free" (John 8:32 KJV).

There is power in truth. There is healing in truth. There is restoration in truth. Understand this now, this very minute, JESUS WANTS YOUR MARRIAGE HEALED.

If you are reading this book I will assume that you realize that your marriage is in trouble. Perhaps you too are in shock. You never thought this would happen to you. You never believed it was possible. You need help.

First of all, bottom line, no way around it—you need Jesus. If you think you will be able to see your marriage healed without His power, you are mistaken. Without Jesus marriages can only be glued back together. They will always have a major flaw which will give under pressure. Jesus is the only one who can heal a marriage so that the breaking point is not even noticeable. In fact, with Jesus, that which was weakest becomes the strongest. There is no flaw that remains to give under pressure.

Right now Jesus loves you. Just as you are. You don’t have to get cleaned up for Him to accept you. You don’t have to be good and earn points with Him to get close to Him. He died for you when you were still a sinner. He knows you better than anyone else does, even better than you know yourself. You can’t fake Him out. You can’t pretend with Him. He knows your heart.

Right now you need to turn to Him and surrender your life to Him. Only He can cleanse you of your sin and get your life in order. You can’t do it for yourself. If you could you wouldn’t be in the mess you’re in right now. He is the only one who can fix it.

Pray this prayer right now and give your heart to Him.

"Jesus, I’m hurting. I’ve been rejected and I feel worthless. I’ve tried to change on my own and I can’t do it. I’m tired of making excuses, tired of trying. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner. I cannot cleanse myself and I cannot make my life right on my own.

I surrender my life to You, Jesus. I receive You as my Lord and my Savior. I accept the cleansing of Your blood for my sins. I let You take over my life right now. Help me, Lord. Comfort me. Teach me. I need You like I’ve never needed You before. I am Your child, Father."

If you have prayed this prayer really meaning what you are saying, you are now born-again by the Spirit of God. This means that the old nature, the one you were born with, just died. You have now received a new nature, God's nature, which you are going to need to stand for the healing of your marriage. You cannot do it in your power. You must do it by His power.

God has written a very special love letter to His children. It contains instructions for every aspect of life on this earth, for every situation. In His love letter, God has expressed His will for you and has given instruction on how to achieve it. His love letter is the Bible.

In the past you may have tried to read the Bible and it all seemed like Greek to you. That’s because you were reading someone else’s mail. Now you are a child of God and the letter is written to you. You will now understand what He is saying because His Spirit lives within you and will teach you all things. If you have just now received Jesus for the first time, there is much you must learn. Do not become overwhelmed. God knows you are new at this. He will lead you gently.

Even if you have known the Lord for some time now, you still have some work ahead of you. You are in an all out battle for your home and family. This is going to be work. It is not a passive thing but a very active one. You are going to learn what it means to be a soldier in the Lord’s army. This is hand to hand combat but, praise the Lord, He has equipped His children to fight.

You need to realize that your enemy, Satan, and his forces desire to destroy your home. They are using circumstances and people. It is important to know:

• PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY.
• CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.
• DO NOT GIVE ULTIMATUMS.

Satan is the master of circumstances. Do not use his tools to attempt to win a victory. If you make demands based on circumstances, he will manipulate circumstances to make sure you get a chance to fulfill your threat. For example, if you say, "If you don’t stop this, I’m going to leave you," he will manipulate circumstances to make sure you get a chance to fulfill your threat. Ultimatums just set up circumstances to force you into ungodly results. There are many people divorced today who never intended to be but they painted themselves into a corner with the words of their mouths.

Satan fights dirty. He knows what will hurt you the most and he is using those things to wound you. The one you love the most, your spouse, is doing and saying terrible things right now. YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY. Remember that. Your spouse is being used of the enemy to destroy your home. I don’t care if your spouse is a Christian and has twenty Bible verses to explain what he or she is doing. IT IS NOT GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO BREAK UP.

Never mind what people are saying. What is God saying? What does the Bible say?

Never mind what people are doing. What is God doing? What does the Bible say for you to do?

Your home is under enemy attack. If you are going to survive the attack you must know what is happening and how to combat it. The next chapter will help you.

"Jesus, I know our home is under attack from the enemy. I need Your help. I don’t know how to fight. I don’t know what to do. I surrender this battle to You. Teach me, help me. I will trust You to do it. Amen."

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