BLURRY VISION

Now that you know who your real enemy is, it is time to learn to love your spouse unconditionally. That means it is time to learn to love your spouse as God loves your spouse, with agape love, not frail human love.

Romans 2:4 says it is God’s kindness (or goodness) that leads us to repentance. God loves us unto His kingdom. While we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Your spouse needs to know the unconditional love of God. No matter what your spouse is doing, God’s love has not changed.

If you are self-righteous and judgmental toward your spouse, you give the impression that the God you represent is also that way. That kind of spiritual pride will not draw anyone to the kingdom of God.

Your sin of self-righteousness is not smaller in God’s eyes than the "big" sin of your spouse. God does not see big and little sin. Sin is sin to God. I have heard people tell me how very much they are praying for their spouse to be born-again and for their marriage to be healed and then I have watched them treat their spouses like dirt. That is not the way God sees them and He will not honor your treating your spouse that way. If you have been doing that, you need to repent.

Begin to see your spouse as God sees your spouse. God has a plan for each one of us—a faith vision that He maintains in His heart waiting for someone on earth to agree with Him for it. When Abraham was willing to take God’s word regarding his child and believe right along with God, the promise came to pass. The promise of God materialized in Abraham’s son, Isaac. God has a plan for your spouse. God sees your spouse through supernatural eyes and He wants you to see your spouse the same way. God wants your supernatural vision to be 20/20.

Up until now you have seen what your spouse is like and have accepted that as the reality of the situation. It has not been difficult to see that your spouse and your marriage are not what they should be.

You may also be seeing yourself in a very negative light. Perhaps you are going over and over again in your mind mistakes that you have made, things that you have done or said that you wish you could now change. You need to begin to see yourself, your spouse, and your marriage as God sees them.

When I was standing for the healing of our marriage, I would do fine as long as Michael was out of the house. I would read the Word, pray in the spirit, praise the Lord, and do spiritual warfare. I would make up my mind that the next time I saw Michael I would show him the unconditional love of God. I would not fight with him, I would stay out of the flesh. Then Michael would walk in the door and say something nasty to me and the fight would be on. In a short time he would leave again shouting something like, "You’re never going to change. You’ll always be the same. You say Jesus has made a difference in your life. Well, I sure can’t see it."

Immediately I would regret my words and actions and repent for being so much in the flesh. I’d ask God to help me to be better next time (if there ever were a next time) and then I’d spend the next two hours crying because I thought for sure I had blown my marriage healing.

One day during a repeat of this activity, the Lord spoke to my heart. He told me the reason I couldn’t treat Michael with unconditional love was that I saw him as he was and I reacted to what I saw. He told me His Word had not become revelation to me and I was just quoting it aimlessly.

Read Luke 4:1-13. When the devil tempted Jesus, he chose temptations that would mean something to Him. Jesus was hungry after His long fast and so bread was a real temptation. Jesus had come to take back the kingdoms of the world, so that also was a valid temptation. Jesus had left the glory that was His in heaven to become a servant here on earth (Phil. 2:6-8). The third temptation was also valid in that it challenged who Jesus really was and dared Him to prove it.

In reply to each one of those temptations, Jesus responded with scripture. He did not agree with Satan or argue with him. Instead Jesus used the Word as a sword (Ephesians 6:17) and fought Satan in the spirit realm. The reason Jesus could do this so successfully was that He knew what the Word of God had to say about each one of those situations. The Word was His plumb line and He used it to measure everyone and everything.

Do you know how God sees your spouse? The day that the Lord told me His Word had not become revelation to me, I realized that I did not see Michael as He did. I asked Him to show me Michael from His Word that I could agree with Him. He took me to 1 Timothy 3:2-4 (NIV). "Now the overseer (‘elder’ in the King James Version) must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect." I have to confess when I first read this scripture, I couldn’t believe it. My husband was an alcoholic in adultery. He despised the things of God and mocked me for my beliefs. I read the scripture and said, "Lord, are we talking about the same man?"

The Lord spoke something to me than that is so important I hope you grasp its depth. He said, "That’s how I see him, Marilyn. He is to be a preacher and teacher of the Word. Others are going to be brought to Me by him. You can either agree with the devil that Michael is what you see with your natural eyes or you can agree with My Word and see him with supernatural eyes."

I was stunned. Up until then I had been begging God to somehow drag Michael into the kingdom. I thought if he only could get near a church or hear a Full Gospel Businessmen’s meeting in one of the restaurants he frequented, he might receive Jesus. In my spirit I had always seen Michael just squeaking in. Suddenly I realized how far below God’s vision my vision had been. I repented and immediately wrote down that scripture with Michael’s name inserted everywhere it said "elder." I began to ask God for other scriptures for Michael and I wrote all of them down with Michael’s name in them. And then God taught me something else.

He took me to Genesis, Chapter 1 and led me through the creation of the world. Then He said to me, "If I being God must speak in order for things to come to pass, what makes you believe that you can just think them and they will be?"

I realized that when I prayed the Word for Michael I just sat quietly and did it in my head. I began to see that those words had to be spoken forth out loud in order for the promise to come forth. I began that day to pray the Word out loud saying, "Michael is. . ." I prayed the Word over and over again daily and each time I thought how much God must have been working on Michael out there somewhere. Boy, was he going to be a changed man the next time I saw him!

Then the funniest thing happened. One day Michael came in with the usual nasty greeting. I remember I was standing in the hall looking at him and I thought to myself, "I wonder why he said that. That’s not at all like him." Suddenly I realized that the Word of God had become revelation to me. The man I knew Michael to be from God’s Word was more real to me than the man who stood before me temporarily bound by the enemy. All the time I thought God was changing Michael, He was changing me! God was working on my heart so that I could see Michael as He saw him.

From that moment on, nothing could change the way I felt about my husband. I could love him with unconditional agape love because I knew who he was in Christ. The words of his mouth and his actions were easily identifiable as the work of the enemy. When he said, "I hate you and wish I’d never met you," I knew that was how Satan felt about me. It sure wasn’t the heart of that godly man who was going to preach and teach in the name of the Lord!

There were many even tougher times ahead for us but the enemy couldn’t shake me from knowing God’s promise for Michael. No matter what the devil threw at me, I could quote, "It is written . . ." God’s Word was revelation to me.

Let God’s Word become revelation to you, too. Ask Him to show you how He sees your spouse. Write down those scriptures and speak them forth daily. Let faith come by hearing (Romans 10:17). The more you speak them forth, the more you hear them, the more you will believe what God says. You need to see yourself as God sees you, too. Whatever you have done wrong in the past was forgiven the minute you repented. Don’t let the devil harass you and tell you that you’re not good enough to get your marriage healed. The healing of your marriage is based on Jesus’ perfection, not yours. All you are responsible for is obedience and repentance when you fail to obey. That is what will bring God’s will to pass in your home. Ask God how He sees you also. Write down those scriptures with your name in them. Speak them forth out loud, let your ears hear how God sees His precious child, you.

"Lord, I thank You for Your Word. I thank You that You keep Your Word. Today I agree with what You have to say about my spouse and about me. I agree with Your Word for our marriage and our family. I will not listen to the voice of the enemy any longer. I will agree only with You. Let Your unconditional, agape love flow from me to my spouse. Let (your spouse) see You through the kindness I show in Your name. Amen."

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